"Save me, O God! .. I am worn out from calling for help, and my throat is aching. I have strained my eyes looking for your help." (Psalm 69: 1, 3)

Miscarriage, referred to in medical terms as a spontaneous abortion, brings with it a lot of heart ache and lost dreams.

You were no doubt delighted to be expecting, anticipating the due date, and planning the color of the baby's bedroom, carriage, crib, your work schedule, etc.

Then IT happened.

Project Rachel wants you to know that we recognize your feelings of loss - lost dreams of starting a family at this time, or looking forward to another brother or sister for your present family.

We have met women who have lost 10, 5, 4, 3, 2 children through miscarriage. One First Nations woman told us she placed a flower at the Mass of Consolation in memory of her grandmother who had lost a baby while fishing. Generational healing!!

As Project Rachel endeavors to expand our outreach ministry, we offer:
a) a booklet to help you process the grief surrounding your miscarriage,

b) a St. Theresa's 'in loving memory' card,

c) a brochure developed by the Project Rachel women "How can I Celebrate when I am Suffering?"

If you would like to have any of this literature, at no cost, please contact us and we will mail it to you. One woman who recently received the booklet commented "I wish I had had this when my miscarriage happened."

Some reflections:

When we were preparing the Mass of Consolation in 2001, I talked with my Aunt who lost 4 babies - 2 of whom she carried to term all the while knowing they were dead. I gave her 4 of our St. Theresa prayer cards and encouraged her to name her babies, which she did - all boys! She mentioned that you did not grieve in her day - it was considered a natural unfortunate thing - but she still feels guilty thinking maybe she did something wrong.

In 1981, my sister miscarried a baby at 3 months at home and when I called her to ask her how she had felt she said it was the loneliness that was so profound.

She was left in a hospital room with 4 other patients, her husband sent home because visiting hours were over. She did see the nurse and doctor bless the baby, but no one asked her what she wanted done with their dear baby. She and her husband and my mom each baptized the baby at home before the ambulance came, each one doing it unbenounced to the other.

The next day she and her husband took their 2 daughters to a fair and while the children enjoyed the rides they walked around like zombies. She asked me why I wasn't doing 'this ministry' years ago!! She also said she had always planned/wanted 4 children - so I told her she has 4 children, 3 living here and one in heaven.

She, and our daughter who miscarried in 2003, both commented that, following the miscarriage, when they would look in a mirror their eyes appeared life-less.

In 2004 we received this note: "You have helped me so much to handle the grief of losing my daughter (miscarriage) after all these years. Hazel Rhian Marie would have been 39 on Jan. 24/04. Her St. Theresa's 'in loving memory' certificate is on the mantle and is shown to all who visit. Now I can talk to her and ask for guidance from God for all of our family and she really is a part of our family now. God Bless the work that you do." ( Even to this day when we meet she is so grateful.)

Dec. 2005 at our Christmas prayer get-together that we have yearly for Project Rachel women and other women/men whose babies have died unborn, 4 of our PR women became Godparents for 4 babies who were miscarried. One of our PR women commented. "Thank you so much for giving me the honor of being Godmother to T's little Rebecca. It means so much to me to have come full circle."

If you wish to share your comments/story/feelings with us, we would be privileged to hear from you. With your permission, we would add them to our own publication on miscarriage that we are in the process of developing and also we will post them on this website for others to read.